Okay, it's rant time

Why? Because this is ticking me off.

It's pretty ridiculous, the number of profiles that I've seen on any website that go like this:
"Hi, my name is ____. My mother and my older sister died a few years ago. I now live with my father, who is drunk most of the time, and he smokes crack and he beats me up for no reason. I am bullied at school and I have no friends. Everyone hates me and I hate myself. Every day, I try to convince myself that I shouldn't commit suicide, but I have no idea why I'm still here. I cut myself and I never talk to anyone."

And what makes these things hilarious is that they always casually add something like "Send me a friend request!! :D" at the end.
Now, where I should I start? Rants are the only things that I enjoy organizing, so of course my points are all numbered.

1. First of all, this is usually a lie told by hormonal 13-year-olds who are blowing their situation waaay out of proportion ("My father is a drunk crackhead who beats me up" probably means something like "My dad won't buy me an iPhone and he won't let me date this one guy"). Sure, nobody cares about you, yet you are somehow finding the money to get internet service. That 'net stuff ain't cheap, people. Why don't you get off the internet and try to make some friends?

2. Okay, let's say that every single word of that story is true. You do cut yourself and you do hate yourself and your father does beat you up.
How, in the name of Dumbledore, is posting it on the internet going to help you?
Despite popular belief, you have the power to get the heck out of that house. Call the cops on your dad. If you have internet, I'm pretty sure that you have a phone, too. Even if you don't, just get out of the house and walk to the police station. Or, heck, walk anywhere. Yes, I know that there are probably really young children who think that they're trapped in the house (or they don't have the ability to leave), but if you're old enough to get around the internet and spell that well, I'd say you're old enough.

3. If it was true, you wouldn't post it on the internet. You just wouldn't.
When I was around the age of 8 or 9 years old, there were these teenagers who lived on the same street as me and my little brother. They verbally tormented us whenever we were within range, which was quite often, because I was "friends" with one of their younger siblings. It hurt like heck, to the point where I often wished I was dead, and I'm still getting over it.
Unless somebody asks me about it (and then I won't post it on my profile page or a public forum, I'll PM them), I don't randomly start rambling about it. Why?
Well, what the heck would that do? Stir up some temporary sympathy from some total strangers who will never see me as more than some pixels on a screen? I've found that everyone I know who has gone through similar pain won't ramble about it in a forum, either. Because we don't see our past issues as something to brag about, for God's sake. We view them as a really suckish part of our life that we'd rather forget.

4. This is bragging. Yep, nobody is ever going to admit to it, but it is. "I've had more depressing, traumatic experiences than you have! So, THERE!!" 
Yeah, that's pretty much what is going on. And it's probably the most stupid thing about it. You know, pain is pain. We're all human, and we've all felt it before. We understand it, we know what it's like. Whether you're a millionaire with a twelve-bedroom house or an Indian street kid with no family, you get it. Pain. You recognize it, you know it when you see it.
Which is why I find it stupid to compare our different hurts. So maybe the worst thing that has ever happened to you is when your hamster died, YOU. STILL. GET. IT.
Does being more hurt than somebody else somehow make you better than them? Is it supposed to give you some kind of right? Does it help society in any way?

Dear Oralius. This concludes my rant.